Begin Again
by VINAI
Summary: Karr breaks the news that the past five years have been nothing but lies to the one's he once called family. But, in the midst of all the chaos, a truth is revealed for one person in particular. None of it is real. *Set in KW 'verse!* Plz R&R! I DONT OWN THEM!


**Begin Again**

"I've been lying to you, Kitt!"

"Wha- What? What do you mean you've been lying to me?"

Karr barked an aggravated sigh, scraping a hand down his face in frustration. "Kitt, I've been lying to your face for the past five years! I don't care about this place or doing good things! The only reason I agreed to it was so I could live again!"

Kitt could only stare at him with tears in his eyes. Nothing Karr just said fit any kind of description right now. It all felt like a bad dream.

"K-Karr, how could you?" He whispered painfully.

"Very easily. I wanted to live again and the only way to do that was to let you in." He sneered over him.

The tone of voice may have felt like a punch in the gut for the youngest, but he was determined to get to the bottom of this. However, Karr, as if reading his mind, continued.

"I'm not in the mood for making a speech out of this, so I'll sum it up to the point. The past five years have been nothing but lies to you all. Since the day you brought me in, I have only been telling you what you want to hear. Nothing more."

Kitt just stared at him, eyes full of disbelief after the brief explanation. No, Karr couldn't be serious. He's put his own life on the line one too many times to be saying this. Saving others that may or may not have deserved such a sacrifice of bravery. He's bailed out Michael and Kitt numerous times on occasion when it comes to missions and things. This couldn't be true what he was saying.

Could it?

"Karr, please," he whimpered, facing him. "Tell me you're lying. Tell me you're just mad, that you don't mean it. Please."

"God, you people are so naive!" he yelled angrily, storming off. Kitt followed, his own fire boiling inside as the feeling of betrayal gripped his hurting heart tightly.

"How could you do this to us?! To me?! We brought you in, treated you as one of us, and this is how you pay us back?! How dare you!"

Karr stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the hallway, walking over to Kitt in a predatory manner. His wine red eyes no longer held that warmth and kindness like before. They were glazed over with anger, his true colors now showing after what seemed like a miracle intervention five years ago.

"How dare I?" Karr repeated darkly. "Let's get something straight here, Kitt. It was _you_ who decided to give it a go on bringing me to your side. It was _you_ who wanted to try and build a functioning relationship with me. Therefore, _this,_ " he gestured with his finger. "Is _all. Your. Fault_."

The simply stated accusation hit something deep in Kitt's core. Karr was right. It was his fault. All of it was his fault. He didn't care to look at it from a full perspective. The excitement and sense of accomplishment clouded over those concerns and precautions. Leading to this mess, which could have possibly been avoided all those years ago.

So now he was paying the painful price for it all.

To say Kitt was upset would've been an under statement. His sky blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears, but were also nothing more than chips of ice. Boring a hole into Karr, flooding it with hidden emotion. But he knew Karr saw it. He knew he did. Karr could always read his eyes so easily, whether Kitt was being difficult or not. The eldest could always see through them like pieces of glass.

"You're mad." He said softly, a small, evil grin playing on the corner of his mouth as he caressed his cheek.

"No," he responded sharply, pulling away from him. "Just regretting the decision I made."

He chuckled wickedly. "Just say the word and I'll be gone, little brother."

"Don't call me that," he snapped. "I don't want you here. Leave."

The eldest smirked. "Tonight then."

"Good." Was all Kitt said before walking away in the opposite direction. Finally allowing a few tears to streak down his cheek as he walked into his suite. After closing the door and locking it securely, he slid down against the door. His sobs echoing around in the dark room in mockery for his mistake he made.

 _ **/*KR*/**_

By that night, Karr did as he promised. He left the Estate, taking only a few of his things with him. Some buddies he used to know picked him up late that night, and he was gone. No words. No notes. No farewells. Just up and out. Not that Kitt was complaining though. Karr lied to him. To his _face_...for five years straight.

The others learned of his little secret upon seeing the foreign car peel away from the Estate. They were just as upset, if not more than Kitt at the news they received. At the time, Kitt really didn't know why, but he had a hard time keeping it together as he tried to explain to his family how Karr betrayed them. He couldn't pin-point if it was because he was still mad about it all, or if it was because...

No. No, that was not the reason. Karr played them. Played all of them. There's no way Kitt could've been feeling that toward him. No man deserves to be loved after executing such a heartless act on what once was his family. If anything, he deserves to be crushed the same way he crushed them, if not more so.

It was early in the morning when Kitt woke up. Well, when he finally got out of bed. He couldn't sleep after witnessing such a heart wrenching thing. The image of that little black sports car fishtailing away from the Estates wouldn't leave his mind.

In the dark, he made his way to the other vacant room beside his. The light of the full moon his only bit of light, which was enough. His keen eye sight could already see quite well in the dark to begin with.

He walked passed the dresser, passed the made up bed and over to the little night stand on the right side of the bed. It sat in front of one of the large windows, basking in the soft white light. The beige curtains were pulled away, tied neatly on either side of the large pane.

In the midst of the moonlight, sat a small picture frame. It's glass remains were scattered around in the corner from a fall it took. On one of the edges of shattered glass, was a distinct little red dot. Slightly smeared around the edges from most likely trying to grab it.

But that's not what drew Kitt's attention the most.

The little brown picture frame sat alone and empty on the night stand. What use to reside in it was gone. Kitt looked around carefully for the picture, making sure to give the pile of glass a wide berth. But he came up empty handed. No matter where he searched.

The only possible conclusion; Karr took it with him.

It didn't matter how Kitt tried to process that. Either way he sliced it, the conclusion just didn't fit Karr's current description. Why would Karr take a photo of the two of them together, when he already told him that it was all a lie? Was it a cover up for something? Or was Karr having second thoughts, and just didn't know how to say it?

Kitt groaned. Nothing made sense right now.

 _ **/*KR*/**_

Life was going great for Karr. He and his gang were the most fearsome on the streets. Nobody got in their way, nor dared to challenge them. Karr was the alpha of them all. It didn't matter who you put him up against, he was sure to win. And it only benefited him and his gang that everyone knew he was a werewolf in disguise. Ah, he could never get over their scared little faces when they saw him change. It was classic.

Lately, the only thing they've been doing is terrorizing the locals and partying whenever they got the chance. Most nights they would come home to their hideout drunk and seduced by whatever they encountered at the many small clubs and bars scattered around the city limits.

And Karr loved every bit of it.

Tonight though, they couldn't go out and make their usual rounds because the cops have figured out what's been going on. Even though Karr's gang was extremely careful to not leave any trace of evidence behind. That would just be bad if they got caught now, right in their prime stage of dominating every other gang in town.

Karr was sitting on the edge of his bed in the dark by the window, a certain little crippled photo in his hand. Reflecting off the bright moonlight. He couldn't really fathom the reason why but he felt...a little remorseful over leaving like he did. It's not like he meant all the fluff and caring actions toward them, so why would he be feeling this way? It's been almost two years since he left them.

"That your brother?" Jack asked quietly, sitting down beside him. Karr only nodded, making a smile appear on the bigger man's face.

"Hm, I had a brother once. Older. He was always bossing me around and shit. Never once let me out of his sights for more than two seconds." Jack chuckled sadly, taking a swig of his drink. "Poor guy, ended up taking a bullet for me one day when a rival gang came to town. Died right on the spot. I've never been able to get the image out of my head."

Karr was silent for a few , "Jack, can I ask a favor of you?" Karr asked seriously, looking at him fully.

"Of course, lad. Name it."

The werewolf swallowed tightly in his throat. He could feel the first tiny stings in his eyes as the question arose. Karr blinked a few times in an effort to keep the tears at bay, but they still managed to show through. One by one they fell to reveal a salty rivulet of sadness leaving his eyes. A sadness he's tried so hard to keep hidden, keep under wraps from the rest of the group.

But you can't hide everything forever. Eventually, he knew, it would shine through.

And tonight was that night.

"I-if something happens, at all, I want you to take this to him. I'll write down the address so you can take it there. You don't need to tell them anything. Just simply tell them that I wanted my brother to have it. Can you do that for me?"

Jack stared at him for a long time, his face pale as his leader's words swirled in his mind. "Karr...are you, like, preparing for a suicide or something? What's gotten into you?"

Karr only gave him a small smile. "I did something terrible to them. I don't deserve to live knowing how much I hurt them. How much I hurt him. Please don't try to stop me. It'll only be a waste of your time."

"Karr, I-"

"Jack, please," he begged softly. "You have no idea what I've done. Don't stop me."

Jack was silent, their gazes locked on one another. Suddenly, the bigger man broke the stare and wrapped the younger in a tight embrace. Karr returned it, shaking.

"I'll do it," Jack whispered into his ear. "I'll do it, Karr."

"Thank you." He whispered back.

 _ **/*KR*/**_

Two years.

That's how long it's been since Karr spilled everything and left them without a word. Even though it's been a long time, it was still hard for all of them to wrap their heads around how Karr could do such a thing. It just didn't make sense. How could a man honestly put his life on the line for complete strangers for five years straight, and then suddenly come out and say it was all a lie?

Kitt was brought out of his trance when he heard a knock on the door. Michael looked up from the magazine he was reading and frowned when the knocking continued. He eventually got up from his chair and looked to see who it was.

"Hey, Devon. It's a guard. Maybe you should come check it out." He called towards the hall where his boss' office was located.

The man in question appeared a minute later, along with Bonnie, who tagged along out of curiosity. "Yes, Michael. What is it?"

"It's the guard. I figured maybe it was something for you?"

Devon though for a moment, then frowned. "No," he said slowly, still racking his mind for an explanation. "I don't believe I had anything."

"Maybe it's someone asking for you." Bonnie piped in.

"Maybe. Let's see." Devon said as he answered the door, Bonnie following him out. Michael stayed behind, glancing at his partner.

"You ok, buddy?" He asked him, taking a seat beside the younger man on the couch.

He nodded absentmindedly. "Just thinking, is all."

Michael looked towards the door where he heard voices from outside. He didn't know why, but he had a distinct feeling this involved Karr somehow. But he pushed the feeling away. Karr was nothing but a distant memory to them.

Right?

"I don't really understand it." Kitt suddenly said, keeping focus on a spot on the wall.

"Don't understand what?" Michael frowned, looking back at him.

"How I should feel about...what Karr did," he admitted softly. "I should feel mad at him, hate him for what he did. But...I'm conflicted about it. I say or wish certain things upon him, and then I feel guilty for doing it." Kitt met his gaze steadily. "Why?"

Michael sighed with a groan. "Well, there's lots of reasons why. But I think the most prominent would be because, even though he hurt you, you still love him." He explained calmly. "It may have all been a lie, but you two managed to create something special between the two of you. And, I know that's hard to believe right now, but I know it's true. And so do you."

Kitt was silent. "I do," he said so softly, Michael almost didn't catch it. "I just don't _want_ to."

Michael clapped a hand on his leg. "Don't worry, buddy. Those mixed emotions will work themselves out. Just give it time."

Suddenly, Bonnie popped her head in. Her eyes were filled with tears. "Can you two come here please?"

Michael and Kitt looked between each other before getting off the couch and over to Bonnie. Questions looming in their eyes.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked.

"Just come outside with me."

They followed her out and were met with the sight of four guards scattered around them, a big bulky man stood next to Devon and another guard. When the bulky man saw the other two individuals, he gave them a sorrowful look.

"Are you Kitt?" He asked the sky blue eyed man.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"He's a friend of your brother's, Kitt." Devon said soothingly sad. "He has something to tell you."

He looked back up to Jack. "Ok. What is it?"

"Your brother...wanted me to give this to you should...anything happen to him," Jack said softly before he pulled out the photo from his pocket and handed it to him. "I'm very sorry, Kitt. He was a good friend."

Kitt took the photo and scanned over it with his finger. Tears filled his eyes when he realized it was the same photo that was missing from the picture frame. He was right! His brother had taken it.

But...why did Jack say he was sorry? And didn't he mention something about happening to Karr?

"Where is he? What's wrong with him?" Kitt asked him urgently. Jack only shook his head sadly.

"Lad, he's...he's not here anymore."

He felt ice fill his veins. "You mean he's...?"

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I really am."

Kitt let the shock wash over him in waves. How could Karr be dead? What happened to him? Why didn't he come home for help? Why did he let it get to that point?

"Why?" He whispered the question, tears streaming down his face.

Jack laid a kind hand on his shoulder. "Kitt, he told me that...he hurt you beyond repair. And he felt like he didn't deserve to live anymore because of those reasons."

"Oh, God..." The werewolf sobbed, knowing that his brother had taken his own life out of pure guilt for what he had done.

Michael came forward then and wrapped Kitt in his arms. The younger man's frame was trembling, full of pent up rage and denial over such horrifying news. How could Karr do something like this? Didn't he know that Kitt would always forgive him? Did he not care about the pain this would cause him? What was wrong with him?!

But then, in the midst of all his anger and frustration, he came to realize that, Karr did it out of guilt for what he had done. Which in turn would mean he truly did care about them, and that fact would lead to the one thing they were all very sure Karr didn't feel towards them anymore.

Karr loved them. He truly did love them.

The thought brought happy tears to Kitt's eyes as the truth of it all came pouring out.

 _ **/*KR*/**_

A week later found Kitt in a local cemetery. It had loads of huge oaks and soft green grass scattered around the huge piece of land. But one section was a little more secluded from the rest, and had more privacy. It was seated beneath the oldest oak in the entire cemetery and was surrounded by different kinds of bushy plants all around. Through the center was a small pathway leading up to the grave site.

 _~ Karr Knight ~_

 _Amazing friend and big brother_

 _He will never be forgotten_

It was here that Kitt was seated. Cuddled close to the big gravestone as if it were his brother himself. He gently ran his fingers over the engraved message on the stone, feeling tears spill over as reality took over. It may have only been a week since the funeral, but the sense of loss has held fast to Kitt's heart.

He would never see his brother again.

"You know I forgive you, right?" Kitt whispered tearfully.

He never got a response. Not like he anticipated one anyway.

"I do. Even though you may feel like you don't deserve to be forgiven."

Up in the mighty oak, a sparrow chirped and sang his sorrowful song. As if he knew what was going on below.

"Karr," he whimpered, closing his eyes. "I don't know why you did what you did. You could've come home, we could've worked things out, big brother. It wasn't like we hated you and never wanted you to return. We were just in shock by it all."

He swallowed painfully. "I wish you would've at least said goodbye before you left me," he sobbed. "I'm sorry if you felt like I didn't want anything to do with you. I didn't mean it, Karr. I promise you. I didn't mean anything I said to you."

A sudden gust of wind blew the small photo of them together right to his foot. He had placed that photo there earlier when he first arrived to his big brother's grave, in loving memory of what life was like before. Kitt carefully picked it up, wiping off some of the dirt that managed to get on it. But when he turned it over to the back side, he felt his heart stop.

 _I love you, little brother_

After the words sunk in, he held the little photo close to his chest. How did he not notice the small message before? He knew it was from Karr. He could tell by the big, slender writing that only Karr could do.

"I love you too, big brother. I love you too." He whimpered tearfully...

 _ **/* * * * */**_

Kitt woke up with a gasp. Quickly he got out of bed and raced to his brother's room. He felt tears leave his eyes when he saw that the bed was vacant yet neatly made, as if no one slept in it. No. It couldn't be true! He had to be alive!

Kitt ran down the hall and down the stairs and into the kitchen where Bonnie was cooking breakfast. Usually he would've asked for a bite, but not this time.

"Where's Karr?" He asked her, knowing there were tears still flooding his eyes. He was hoping beyond hope that she would say something other than what he was thinking.

"Oh, he's out in the garage messing with the car. Sweets, are you-?"

But she was never able to finish the rest of her statement because Kitt took off for the garage as soon as she told him where he was at.

Meanwhile, out in the garage, Karr was messing around under the hood of one of the Trans Ams when he hears the door swing open. The sudden sound made him snap his head up in time to see an upset Kitt rush towards him. He didn't even have two seconds to prepare himself before the youngest was in his arms sobbing his heart out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he coaxed gently, wrapping his arms around him. "Kitt, what's wrong?"

His little brother couldn't talk right that minute though. The only thing that left him were his frightened, relieved sobs. Karr realized this a short moment later and did the only thing he knew he could provide. Comfort.

"Shhh, it's ok. I'm here. It's ok." Karr soothed, keeping him in a secure hold.

The eldest continued this for quite some time before Kitt finally calmed down. He still clung to Karr tightly, a sniffle leaving him often. Karr gently pulled him back enough to look him in the eye, wiping away the last little tears that fell.

"What's wrong, baby brother?" He asked softly.

Tears immediately flooded his eyes again. "I...I had a bad dream."

Karr could see that the only way to make Kitt feel better was to have him open up about it. And he was more than willing to reassure Kitt by any means possible. So he helped him get into something comfortable while he went to go clean his hands of the grease from under the hood. Once they were cleaned up, they headed out to the back. Laying on the hammock with Karr pushing them off gently. Kitt wrapped in his arms, cradling his head over his heart.

"I was terrified that you left me and...and I never got the chance to say goodbye," Kitt said tearfully. He felt Karr's hold tighten protectively. He was heart broken to see and hear how troubled his little brother was over such a vivid dream.

"Kitt, I would never do something like that," he whispered softly. "I love you, Kitt. You mean way too much to me to do something so heartless. You know that, right?"

He felt him nod against his chest, the rush of his brother's tears soon soaking through his shirt. The salty droplets of water fell silently, only a few tremors accompanying them. Karr kept up a stream of whispered comfort to him. Seeing as though it was Kitt's only life line from reality to fiction.

Karr didn't know how long it was before he felt more weight against his chest than before. He smiled to himself.

"Sleep well, my little brother. I'll be here when you wake up."

He didn't know if it was his imagination or if he honestly felt the faint squeeze to his hand after the whispered reply. Either way, he was happy Kitt heard it. For it would always be true.


End file.
